homemade carpet spotter

Here’s a recipe making your own spot cleaner for your carpet. Goodness, it’s cheap. Grandma would approve.

Put 3 cups (or thereabouts) of warm water into a container. The Damsel has a lot of quart jars hanging around, so she reached for one of those.

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Add 1/2 cup plain white vinegar. The thought behind the “plain white” is that dark vinegar might make a spot of its own.

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Now add 3 tablespoons of baking soda. Careful! A certain unnamed person dumped this in all at once, completely forgetting anything about science fair volcanos. That certain person watched in amazement as half her solution bubbled up and over the sides of her jar. Ha ha! That person is silly.

Stir. Yes, it will bubble and foam and so on, giving us all hope that there is something magic going on, because that’s what carpet spots need.

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Now the Damsel fearlessly takes you to her living room, where a few mysterious spots have appeared. Grandma would not approve. The Damsel has learned not to ask why or how the spots came to be, because life is already full of enough futility.

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Scrub the offending spot with a cloth or scrub brush. Let it dry, then vacuum.

Now the Damsel can hold her head high again.

P.S. the green bracelet seen on the Damsel’s wrist is in honor of the Damsel’s brother in law, who is fighting cancer with a lot of strength and style. Ben’s a frequent reader of the Old School, and if you felt like giving him a shoutout in the comments, it’d bring a grin to that big ole currently-bald face of his.

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make your own soft soap

The Damsel loves pretty-scented soap. But when it gets down to a sliver, not so much. And, she’s had only limited success with gluing it to the new bar of soap.

Plus, her sprogs don’t know how to use bars of soap. They only know how to use soft soap dispensers, and she feels like it’s her lucky day when they’ll even do that.

So today’s class is on how to make soft soap out of those slivers. It’s not hard! Don’t be scared!

Step One: Save up your soap slivers until you have about a cup’s worth.

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Chop ’em up. Some people say you should grate them, but it’s not necessary considering what’s in store.

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Sweep it all into your blender, and pour in an equal amount of boiling water. (It can be merely hot, if there’s a chance of your blender breaking. But the hotter the better)

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Process until smooth, and let cool. Add additional water if necessary, until it’s the same consistency as that stuff you buy in the store. The Damsel felt a little strange putting nonfood in her blender but hey! It’s soap! Now her blender is very, very clean.

In Dis Dress Warning: Determine the consistency when the glop is COOL or you may end up with rubbery, nondispensible soap glop. Just sayin’.

Pour into soft soap dispensers that you have frugally saved. One cup of soap shavings makes two soap dispenser-fulls.

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Grandma didn’t have soft soap dispensers. She would have used this to wash her nice little things. Don’t ask the Damsel to say what the nice little things are. You know what they are.

She’d really hate it if she had to say “bloomers” or “knickers.”

*shudder